The joys of being a modern woman

In the 1960s U.S. women were introduced to oral contraception, i.e., The Pill. It was revolutionary really – just one pill a day at the se time and there won’t be any unexpected babies (to a point, that is).

Fast forward 50 years to today. Literally to today. I have been taking Micronor (otherwise known as The Mini Pill, which is a progesterone only contraceptive often used by lactating women) since my six-week postpartum appointment. It has happily kept us baby free for over a year now.

But.

There’s a word that causes a huge pause to hang in the air.

BUT.

With The Mini Pill and breastfeeding I was able to enjoy almost 12 whole months without my period (well almost 21 whole months if you count pregnancy). It was awesome. If I could skip there period until I was ready for The Babe 2.0, I’d be a happy woman. Alas that is not possible.

My body returned to its cyclical functions at the end of June, about two weeks before Adele’s birthday. What a bummer! Periods suck. If you are a woman, you know this. I was enjoying its absence.

But it returned, and there was nothing I could do about it. Thankfully everything seemed to be normal and as I remembered. That is until 12 days later and my period showed up AGAIN. I was baffled but not alarmed. I knew things could take some time to regulate.

I was content to let my body work itself out until it was five months later with super short cycles and a period that has – so far – lasted TEN days. TEN!!!

This is cruel and unusual punishment.

Dear body, I know I put you through a lot over the last two years, but knock it the hell off! I’m not about to do you any favors if you can’t do one for me. Signed, The Stuck Pig

So I called my OB/GYN office to see what the heck is going on with my body. Thankfully he nurse said that stopping The Pill will likely help regulate my cycle. Awesome! That’s just what I want to hear!

Or the fact that I still nurse my baby (who really is a toddler) is causing these irregularities. The only way to fix that is to wean. Ugh….. Shit. Let’s hope it’s the manufactured hormones and not the natural ones running my body to its death (perhaps a little dramatic of me).

But wait?! Now what do I do? No more will I have the confidence of a barren womb without The Pill (which I religiously took at the same time every day!). So I will look elsewhere (science to be exact) to keep us from having another baby at this time.

Charting.

Waaaaaaay back in the day when I started this blog I mentioned that I charted and would discuss it here. Except I was pregnant, so I never discussed it.

Well, it’s awesome. And it lets you know when you are fertile so you only have to use condoms sometimes versus all the time. And I used this method successfully for 2.5 years before we stopped using protection and conceived Adele.

So here I am again with a thermometer on my nightstand and Fertility Friend downloaded to my iPod.

Let the experiment begin.

(And hopefully my body regulates itself quickly, letting me lose that last 5 pounds and find my libido again.)

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