I’m not dead

I keep opening up WordPress so I can write a post. There’s so much going on and I’d love to write it all down, remember it in some way.

But my mind keeps going blank every time I open up this page. It’s as if I have too much to write. There are so many wonderful things about parenthood that I never expected. I want to share them all.

I want to scream from the rooftops, “Look at my beautiful daughter! She has made my life worth something!”

I want to fill you in on all the exciting things we do: first trips to the museum, first time at the playground, first birthday party plans (about three month away!), etc.

Adele's first time in the swing. She loved it!

But what I’ll write about today is short: I wanted to see where I was a year ago, so I looked up April 5, 2011. I didn’t write that day, but I did on the 4th. This time last year I was so excited about birthing our child. We had just gone to our childbirth class and were preparing for a breastfeeding class. And we painted the nursery! It’s so strange to see how much our lives have changed in a year.

It makes me wish that I could slow down time. At 28 weeks pregnant, I didn’t think my due date would ever come, but it did. And, in retrospect, it feels like it was just a blink of the eye before Adele was here. And I blinked again, and she’s almost 9 months old.

Am I going to blink and be sending her off to college? Watching the Mr. walk her down the aisle? Experiencing her motherhood?

Time is cruel. I want to savor every moment with Adele. I find myself getting up with her at night, feeding her, and just kissing her cheeks over and over and staring at her. I know we are going to start CIO sleep training this weekend, so our nights like this are numbered. Getting up 4-5 times a night doesn’t seem that awful when I know she won’t always be this small (though we are all very ready for more sleeping at night).

So much has changed. And I wouldn’t change a thing.



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